Disappointment

Is it my plan is getting close to me now???

Is it will become a truth???

Is it my plan will be succeed???

BUT how long should I wait???

I already LOSE....

Most of my friends...they even much more better than me....

they got their lovely and desired things.........

It seem they can get it standing on their hands....

BUT ME.....

I'm such an useless guy.......

I cant be the BEST......

I LOSE FOR THEM TOTALLY.......

THEY already go much further.....I just in the beginning.......

Actually.....I'm not COMPARING....I don't Like Comparison!!!!!

It just brings a lot of pressure and trouble......

I just Keep BLAMING myself.....

WHY they can do it???? BUT I cant????

WE are the same level people.....BUT...They do much better than me.....

Everytime when I see their success.....

I just give them a smile and congratulate them.....

BUT Deep in my heart.....I cry....It really bring a great disappointment to me.....

I Keep Blaming myself...

How good if the success is belong to me.....

But thinking back....I'm different with them.....

So..when they become succeed....is just a common for me thing to see.....

I just start my PLAN.....

I hope that my can carry out successfully.....

Although I'm late than others.....

As long as I never give up.....

I Hope that the VICTORY will arrive to me.....

Now I'm feeling a bit upset and disappoint....

But It will be okay soon.....

I just need some times to clear my mind.......

I already realise that what the importance and requirement in my Life....

SO...My plan is still going on.....

I MUST TRY TO SWITCH THE FAILURE TO VICTORY.....

STAND UP!!!!!!!! DON'T LET IT DOWN!!!!!

Bewilderment

I'm big enough........

I should have a proper plan about the future........

I'm not the Raymond that before still studying in school..

I can confess that that time perhaps I was childish....

But thinking back....Now what I have see??? Not CURRENT...but FUTURE....

Now I'm still stuck in the bewilderment...it seems cannot find the way out.....

I'm thinking about my Future.....

I'm afraid that my future Life will become full of trouble and sorrow....

Maybe I have think too much.....

But....IF don't think about it....I still have to face it one day........

Thinking about the Future....

Is quite troublesome and annoying.......

It also can be say that "asking for trouble....

Basically....majority of peoples would say that " Hey...why think so much about that??? now the importance is...just enjoy our current life....don't think about the future 1st....When we face the problems...just only solve the problems"

Shall I agree for what they said????

Obviously NO....

Although they just say enjoy the current life....but they already neglect their future.......

When the problems come it suddenly.....It is difficult to find the solutions...

no matter how diligent they are.....

So....for me....

I always THINK first....after that just PLAN it....lastly...get a SOLUTION....

this is the way....I solve the problems....

By the way....I'm sicked of my current jobs....long hours and tiredness....

I can Leave my company immediately actually....

BUT I wont do that....Because I know that The company is insufficient of workers....So...that the reason I stay.....

My friends insulted me that I'm a nincompoop....brainless....because I still want to stay in the company....

I just speechless....I just ignored it....Because this is one of my responsibility.....

SO...I stay and help for awhile.....

When the company is enough workers....this is the time...I have to leave and look for the high pay job....Seriously...that the plan I have make.....

This is the answer...I only keep in my heart....I wont tell anyone except the people who really understand about me.....otherwise...I will be insulted...I hate the feeling of being insulted....

Like last time....I told my answer to my friend that we close enough....but what I get in the end??? full of insult.....he really doesn't has thinking about my feeling.....

And yet....he said that I'm childish....It really getting on my nerve...He always scold me that " Be a Man!!! "

It is really funny enough...."Be a man"just because of doing the things that I don't wish to do and meaningless for me...I just can say that is not suitable for me....If the things are good for me...I might do it...

I was being cheated by him several times....When a people tells lies...I know it...I just act nothing...and simply agree with them...So they say that I'm brainless......

All this...Just an appearance....If want me to cheat a people...I can do it!!!!! Just a piece of cake....But I wont....because I know the feeling of being cheated....

Well...don't mentions it anymore....Skip it...

I do hope that....I can get an own car soon....it will be more easier for me.....PLEASE...God Bless me...

I do really need it.....

This month is July....my birthday is located on July of 30....

I can expect it....I will pass my birthday normally....

NO celebration,NO present,NO party....

I'm used to it....

I always pass it normally.....it is lonely enough.....

Haizzz.........I'm lonely enough.....

Hope can find a suitable girl to accompany me......

BUT...maybe I have to wait 3 or 5 years more....because NO destiny at all.....

Boring...............

I Hate Single Life..... :(